HAIR

FINALLY I have chosen to learn to love my NATURAL hair. It’s something that took me over 12years to embrace. NATURAL HAIR IS I! I have done everything to my hair from chemicals to weave. Although I depended on weave, I found my comfort zone and that is NATURAL. My hair was cut short and instead of getting a sew-in I decided to wear my NATURAL hair. It’s the best decision that I have made.

My NEW CHALLENGE is finding the correct products that will work best my hair. I have used countless natural hair products and spent an arm and a leg. As of right now I am in love with Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Shampoo and Conditioner. I was and condition my hair with these products every other day.  I use both Mizani Rose H2O Conditioning Hairdress and Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner on a daily basis. If anyone else know of any other good products or any good NATURAL hair remedies please educate me. Because NATURAL is new to me and I’m still learning. 

 

The Toy War

My daughter will be 6 months in a couple weeks, and I have yet to get her interested in a single toy. I feel like a mild failure. My baby shower registry and Christmas wish list were chock full of gorgeous swings, bouncers, walkers, floor gyms, boppy pillows, musical mobiles, stuffed animals… I mean, the whole nine yards. She is not interested in them at all! Her favorite toy is me, and I’m EXHAUSTED!

Is this common? I’ve been going by the books and the labels on the toys and the informational web sites, but according to them, my daughter should have been loving her swing at 3 months, and ecstatic about her bouncer at 4 months! This is just not the case

An example: The other day I tried to have her in her bouncer in the kitchen while I was attempting to wash some dishes. As I lowered her into the seat, her eyes lit up, looking at all the colorful butterflies and floating fish. The noise-makers rattled as she got situated in her padded seat and her eyes were focused on the bouncing frog directly in front of her. I think, “YES!!! I have about 25 minutes or so to get this kitchen clean!” I walk to sink and start to run the water and all of a sudden there is a scream – not a whine or a fuss – but a sudden, sharp scream. I look at my daughter, and she is looking at me as if I’ve just handed her over to the lions. She is jerking and screaming, real tears rolling down her cheeks, and she’s thrusting forward, trying to get away from that bouncer as fast as possible. She was screaming as if she was in pain, as if someone had pinched my baby’s chubby adorable legs while my back was turned! I couldn’t get to her fast enough. I pick her up and hug her close and begin to rock her back and forth trying to soothe her and it literally took me a solid five minutes to calm her down from being in the  bouncer MAYBE 30 seconds.

Now, I think the typical response would be that she was scared of something.. but, this is not the first time she’s been in this bouncer, but rather, probably the  20th! She doesn’t react this way everytime I place her in the bouncer, but she is never happy, and I just don’t understand it. This is just one example. My efforts to get her interested in her floor gyms are laughable! She rolls over and looks at me like, “You have got to be joking,” and proceeds to fuss and whine until she works herself up to a full-fledged cry.

I guess I’d just like to know what on earth I’m doing wrong!

Is there a way that I should  be introducing these toys to her? Or is this completely normal? My days are broken up by the number of naps she decides to take and how much I can cram into those moments that she’s asleep. I feel horrible some days because it seems like I’m just waiting for her to take a nap!

If this is normal, then I don’t want to complain! I feel bad for even feeling like this… but it would just be great if he could spend some time discovering shapes and colors and mirrors and textures while on her floor gym or in her bouncer, while I got some writing or researching done, or even paint my nails or braid my hair. My to do list generally doesn’t get touched until after 9pm, and some nights, by then I’m so tired, I’m asleep right behind her!

When I tell this to my mom, she laughs, walks away and says welcome to motherhood.

Maybe I should just sip this glass of Earl Grey tea, quit whining, and get use to an 18 hour day, and that 6-8 of those hours, are after 9pm.

🙂

Courtney

My Hair Goo Twists!

Today I decided to wash and deep condition my hair. Since I haven’t done this for awhile, I decided to mix up some hair goo as a deep conditioner, that I will actually leave in my hair until tomorrow… or maybe the next day if I get lazy. Now, I’m not sure if this is okay to do. I should probably look up if it is okay to leave conditioning products in your hair that don’t specifically say “leave-in conditioner,” but you know what, I’ve been doing this all my life. Not with this specific hair goo mixture, but I’ve always left conditioners in my hair for a day or two, if my hair has been feeling crunchy or damaged or what not. Does it leave a residue? Uh, yeah.. because there is a thick conditioner on it. This isn’t something you should do if you are trying to rock out with a shiny, lusterous style. But if you are just running errands or in the house or something basic, I don’t see why this would be a problem. BUT, I promise to do some research on this, and then do a follow up post.

Anywho, pictures of the process follow. Just a reminder, these are iPhone pics. Don’t judge me.

This is my hair, fresh out of the shower and towel-dried. No products and extremely tangled.

This is what I use for my hair goo. I use one part Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque, one part Olive Oil Replenishing Pak, and two parts Organic Virgin Coconut Oil. You can mix this ahead of time and store in a container at room temperature, or just mix at the time of use and put directly in your head. I actually just put each in, one at a time, just remembering the ratio.

This is my hair after I’ve massaged the mixture throughout my hair. I’m using a super wide toothed comb. My roots are tragic, I know, but I’m trying to wait to decide on what color I want to go next… very indecisive.

These are the twists. They are just jumbo double strand twists. I usually put about twelve in my head. This is just to make sure my hair is actually well combed through and the hair goo is evenly distributed. Just my personal method.

And this is how they look when they are done. I generally just let these hang out in my head at least until my hair is dry, but sometimes longer if I’m not going anywhere. If I do want to leave the house or I’m having company or something and don’t want to look like I’m on the set of The Color Purple, I just unravel the twists, separate and tease the strands by hand, and it just gives my fro a different texture and flow. Natural hair bloggers refer to this as a “twist-out.”

Here is a final shot of the dried twists. See how you can’t even see the hair goo anymore. I will update this post with a shot of my hair once I unravel the twists later!

🙂

Courtney

My Hair Journey

Let’s talk about hair! My hair has caused major drama in my life for years and years and years. I’ve had braids, twists, perms, crazy dye jobs featuring platinum blonde, pink and orange, weaves and braided extensions, shaved sides, mohawks, shaved designs, fingerwaves, you name it! During my adolescent years, my father often referred to my experiments as “The Hair Wars,” because my parents could not deal lol.

For the past year, give or take a few weeks, things have calmed down tremendously, because I am now natural. After discovering I was pregnant in early January, I had a minor, panic-induced meltdown, and decided to cut my hair… all of it. I went in the bathroom with my orange all-purpose scissors that are generally stored in the kitchen utility drawer (come on, you know the type of scissors I’m talking about!), and I went to town. I cut all but about an inch and a half of my hair. Mind you, I had just gotten a relaxer maybe two weeks prior to this, so what I was pretty much left with was a spiky, dingy, uneven fro (if you could even call it a fro). I LOOKED NUTS. But like I said, my emotions were going haywire and so I didn’t really even care. I was looking for some type of liberation I guess, I’m not sure. For the next couple of months I wore my T.G.I. Fridays red cap (I was a waitress at the time) or a hooded sweatshirt. As the spring came and the months grew warmer, and as my pregnancy progressed, I abandoned the hat because I simply did not care! I was big, uncomfortable and sweating constantly and could care less about what my head looked like! My roommate at the time and one of my best friends, Krissy, told me that I walked around looking like Pat from Saturday Night Live. You know, that person with the crazy poofy hair, that no one could tell if it was a man or a woman???? Yea.

I barely took any pictures of myself during these months because I looked NUTS, but I will share the few that  I have stored on my MacBook PhotoBooth. Please excuse the swollen face and nose and frumpiness. SMH.

Excuse the color filter… but this was a few days after I initially cut my hair with the orange scissors. I was about 2 months pregnant here. My friend Dave forced me to visit his barber so that I could at least have an even cut.

As soon as my hair got long enough to grab, (I think I was 5  months pregnant here) I went to an African braid shop and paid $230 for some Senegelese Twists that only lasted about a month. Because my hair was so short, they fell out quickly. I don’t recommend doing this type of style unless you have at least three inches of hair.

After I took those twists out, I walked around with this for about a month. You can see it grew fairly well… I think the prenatal vitamins had a lot to do with this. I was about 6 months pregnant here.

When I was about 7 months pregnant, dead in the midst of a blazing Chicago summer, swollen as EVER, I decided it was a good idea to try to give myself Janet Jackson Poetic Justice Braids. It took me about 8 hours, 10 packs of Kankelon braiding hair and at least 20 bathroom breaks to get these done. They lasted MAYBE 2 weeks…

This was a few weeks after I gave birth. I colored my hair an auburn reddish color… please ignore the bed head and swollen face.

And, this is my hair currently. Packed into a neat fro. On a daily basis it hardly looks this neat hahahaha. But, overall, I am quite proud of my hair growth. Like I said, I definitely give credit to those wonderful prenatal vitamins. I haven’t straightened my hair since December of 2010. I would imagine if I was to straighten this stuff out now, it would be almost bob length in the back, and something like a bowl in the front, but I’m not sure. I’m happy to be natural, mostly because I’ve been a complete and utter bum for the past year, neglecting all upkeep, and if I had a perm… I’d be bald from the failure of keeping to a hair care regimen. I’m just now starting to get back into taking care of my hair.

Be on the lookout for posts about my hair efforts… I will share what I do and what I discover. I am, in no sense, a natural hair care expert… I doubt if any of what I do is actually considered legit healthy hair care for natural Black hair… but as I find things out and learn, I will share.

Oh, and I also might add, I am NOT one of those natural-haired sistas that are all of a sudden against all things un-natural, including perms, hot-combs, flat-irons and weaves, after they BIG CHOP (Cut out all relaxed hair). I am not a hair revolutionary activist. I think women should do what makes them happy and what fits into their lives. I don’t agree with the slang terms “good hair,” I don’t believe Black women have to have long, processed hair to be considered attractive. BUT, I don’t judge anyone who decides to rock a weave or a perm and I’m positive that I will rock more than a few weaves in the near future! However, being natural is what’s best for me right now.

🙂

Courtney

Throwback!

This is the first cookbook I actually used! And let me tell you, these recipes are GOOD! Lots of memories in here guys. The pages are crusty from flour and butter lol, I love it!

Baby Mama Frustrations…

For the record, this is a rant. And I am well aware that most of what I’m saying isn’t politically correct… I just don’t care. Truer feelings were never typed.

I hate being a “baby mama.” I hate the stereotypes that are associated with young, single moms… especially minority moms. I hate that the father of my daughter isn’t my husband, or even my boyfriend. I hate that no matter what the underlying situation, from his standpoint, I will always be “tripping” or “whining” or “playing games” or “being needy.” I hate that no matter how dishonest those depictions are, his family, friends, associates, and mutual acquaintances-at-large will believe him… because the media and pop culture have created a Baby Mama Character… full of stereotypes that are connected to true facts. Single mothers have to advocate for their children, so if the father is a ding bat, deadbeat, or young, dumb idiot.. we have to make sure our child has what they need, financially, emotionally and physically. And, often times that means “tripping” or “being needy.” I hate that deadbeat fathers and young-minded, foolish men, can still go to family court and have rights to their children. And I realize this is extremely controversial. But when these men use the court system to exercise and manipulate a control over the mother of their child and the child itself, I believe the system is failing. I hate the fact that any time I stand up for myself and my daughter, I get threatened with legal action. By a person who can barely spell L-E-G-A-L A-C-T-I-O-N. I hate that a man who can fail to provide ANY financial support to a child for months at a time, can take his child’s mother to court and demand visitation. I hate that visitation and child support are considered to be two separate legal issues. The two are joined at the hip if you ask me.  I hate that its so easy for a man to blame his child’s mother’s resistance to him and his b.s., on “wanting” him.. wanting to be with him. Why is it so easy for men to chop up their problems with their child’s mother as being the mother’s rejection issues. And why is it so easy for everyone to believe them? And why is that a suitable justification to the men then getting their way? Even if the child’s mother walked out of the relationship. Even if the mother has ignored all calls, refused all contact, other than pre-scheduled visits between him and the child? AND ESPECIALLY even if the father is offering ZERO financial support.   “She trying to keep my baby from me cuz I don’t wanna be with her! This is a 50/50 thing. I get a say-so in any decisions that have to do with my baby.”

WHAT…..?

I hate that, no matter how hard I try to refine our communication… narrow it down to hardly any verbal communication… there is always space for him to pick a fight or make a demand. I hate that I am going to have to deal with his family for the next 18 years. I hate that he is entitled to even the most miniscule amount of communication regarding major life decisions involving my daughter. I hate that I have to defend my parenting decisions to him and his family.

Days like today, I feel defeated. I feel helpless. I feel angry.

My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. She has changed me in ways I never knew possible. I love her more than I have ever loved. To the point that it scares me. Emotions that I’ve never felt before, whirl about my spirit, day in and day out. I’m obsessed with her, fully absorbed with her. Completely and utterly preoccupied by her. Paranoid and over-concerned about everything that has to do with her. Anxious about her upcoming weeks, months, years and decades. Dreaming about all of her milestones. Curious about every inch of her body and every aspect of her laugh, whine and cry. I have a hard time understanding how one can be a parent if they aren’t feeling these same emotions? How can you justify that one SHOULD be a parent, if they aren’t feeling these same emotions… So, to have to deal with a person… the FATHER of my child, yet a person who can’t even dedicate $20 and 3 hours of his time to my daughter, yet wants to make demands and threats, to exhibit control and put on shows for his friends and family …. to have to deal with that… well, I hate it.

My biggest fear is that my daughter will grow older and blame me for the lack of a relationship between her and her father. I’m scared that somehow, all these decisions that I’ve agonized over, will somehow get made out to be only “rejection issues,” to her … and she will think of me as being selfish and bitter. I’m scared that what seems so right to me now… will end up being the wrong decisions in the long run…

Being a single mom is the most heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever encountered.

Stretch Marks…

Courtney

Ricotta Meatballs

I thought I would share my most recent kitchen adventure. I was watching my favorite show, Unique Eats, on The Cooking Channel, and was completely intrigued by the mention of these Veal and Ricotta Meatballs. I mean, I was drooling immediately. Ricotta cheese is one of my absolute favorite things, hands down. It makes a delectable filling in pastas and desserts, it creates creamy and airy pancakes and is scrumptious when dolloped on just about anything: pizza, pasta, grits, etc. So, when I heard that it could be blended with meat, to create a moist, light yet rich meatball, I HAD TO TRY. Now, I didn’t have any veal on hand, and funds were a bit tight… so I decided to go with a pound of Trader Joe’s Sweet Italian Sausage. Before proceeding, I did a quick Google Search to see if pork and ricotta meatballs, or even italian sausage meatballs existed. They did. After finding a recipe that matched the amount of meat that I had, I dove right into creation mode. I didn’t follow the recipe precisely, but I wanted to make sure my proportions of egg, ricotta, and breadcrumbs were about right. I added dried Italian seasonings, granulated garlic and granulated onion, and mixed it up by hand. Formed these beautiful balls, and popped them in the oven!

Yes, they are bathing in olive oil. Why not? Olive oil is good for you. Silly.

I then boiled some spaghetti, tore some fresh basil and grated some Parmigiana Reggiano.

Man, oh man. This was FIYE. (fiye = delicious beyond comprehension)

I polished off five meatballs as my daughter looked up at me in envy. I feel so sorry for her, she has MONTHS before she can taste such wonderful things.

I realize now, while writing this post that I probably should have taken pics of the actual process of making this… and I probably should have written down the amounts of each ingredient I was using, so as to share a recipe with you all. This is my first attempt at food-blogging. I promise I will get better! And the food pics will need to improve as well, I do realize. This hardly qualifies as food porn… but I did want you to get the general idea of the ecstasy I was experiencing. 🙂

Courtney

Musings on Being a Healthier Me…

I love food. I love snacks. I love munching. And, I absolutely LOVE drinking. Not drinking alcohol, per se, (though I do adore that as well), but I just love drinking liquids period. Juice, Soda, Spritzers, Coffee, Espresso Drinks, Smoothies, Shakes. My father has been telling me for years that I drink all my calories. Which is pretty depressing… because if I’m drinking ALL of my daily calories… and then snacking and munching and eating full meals on top of those beverages… well, you can only imagine…

So, during my days spent watching The Cooking Channel and The Food Network, and browsing through my blogroll, I’ve come across two companies that have really caught my attention, and I’m thinking about giving them a try. Now, I’m not making any grand promises to completely make over my diet or lose fifty pounds… but these seem like awesome companies with products that appeal to my impulses, but in a healthier fashion.

The first of these companies is Emmy’s Organics. I first discovered this company while reading one of my daily reads, Ms. Vashtie Kola’s personal blog, and then it seemed like I just kept seeing the name. So, I decided to check out the web site, and I must say, I am intrigued.

The company is based out of Ithaca, NY and is ran by two friends. All of the ingredients are raw, vegan, non-GMO, and high-quality. Featuring Himalayan Sea Salt, Buckwheat, Macadamia Nuts, Coconut, Figs, Goji Berries and more. They make sprouted seed mixes, granolas, trail mixes, fudge, a chocolate sauce, and most popularly, macaroons… which are there version of the delightful cookie-ish treat. There macaroon flavors feature Lemon Ginger, Coconut Vanilla, Choco Orange and more. Yummy!! And they ship all of these items!! Now, if you happen to actually live in Ithaca, NY, they will actually make you fresh Almond Mylk, available in half gallon or gallon sizes. This is so major to me, as I absolutely love almond milk and can only imagine how grand it would taste freshly prepared.

Im going to be ordering a goodie box from Emmy’s this week and will be doing a honest review of each of the items, and I can’t wait! I will definitely be honest, and since my palette is hardly vegan or raw biased, this should be an interesting experience! I’m actually hoping that I love them, because I can see this being a refreshing break for my body, which is currently suffering from a chocolate chip bread pudding overload.

Check out more from Emmy’s Organics HERE.

OK. The next company that I’m anxious to try is pretty huge and corporate, and you all will probably assume I’ve been hiding under a rock or something… but…it’s Vita Coco. Yes, the coconut water people that gave Rihanna that ridiculously huge endorsement. This company has actually been around for awhile. A worked for Whole Foods Market for about 7 years, up through 2008, and I remember selling quite a bit of this stuff, yet I never tried it. And now, due to the trend (I am embarrassed to admit) my interest has peaked.

Apparently, Coconut Water is supposed to be awesome for you. It’s all natural, fat-free, cholesterol-free, packed with nutrients, super duper hydrating, with tons of electrolytes and potassium. Compared to all my drinks that are jam-packed with sugar, corn syrup, caffeine, fat AND cholesterol, I need to jump on this bandwagon ASAP. I’m definitely going to give it a try. I was very pleased to discover that consumers can order this water directly from the web site! This is very rare, for a corporate company to offer this service and I greatly appreciate it. In quantities as small as a 12-pack case! And its definitely not uber expensive. I think for my first order, I will get the 100% Pure as well as the Tropical Fruit flavor, as Rihanna supposedly helped to create that flavor, and, well, the pop culture groupie in me is dying to try it! (LAME… I know….)

Get more info on Vita Coco, HERE.

That’s all for now! I will have reviews up as soon as I try these items 🙂

Courtney

Introduction

I’m a pretty girl, lost in an ugly world…just trying to find some peace. I think I’m a person that makes life more complicated…more than it has to be. I’m not on here hoping someone will discover me, I’m no fashionista, I’m no hip hop connoisseur and I’m for damn sure not on here to make friends…just on here to find some peace within my CRAZY world called LIFE. (word to the wise…I’m not a dictionary…I can’t spell…so if grammar, spelling, and punctuation is what you’re looking for I don’t know what to tell you)

My name is Naferteria Corbert and I have a lot going on. I’m a mother to three wonderful kids (two boys and one girl). I work part-time and I’m a full-time student. I’m attending Northeastern Illinois University as a Biology Major and Chemistry Minor. I’m in the most complicated relationship there is. I love him but he’d rather fuck with hoes (that’s a subject that I’m pretty sure I will touch on later). I’m very out going and I’m in love with the people who are in my world (and to tell you the truth that’s not many). My main focus in life is trying to find that path that God wants me to be on. I’m a strong believer in God; I believe that Jesus has died on the cross for me and sent His Son to pay the price. But I’m no angel. I have my many flaws and I’m very thankful that my Father is forgiving.

I decided to write on this blog as an outlet…not for acceptance nor recognition. This is my diary. This is my way of letting go of things that have been bottled up for so long and things that I can’t express vocally. Nine times out of ten the stuff that I will share will not be scripted nor censored. I have a potty mouth and that is something I am working on, but hey no one is perfect. I try, but I fall short of perfection. Enough said,  hope I can help women work on their issues as I work on mine. I am a very open person and I love feedback and advise…so if you feel I can learn a thing or two from you please share.

Besos…Naferteria

We Aren’t Photographers…

I thought that I should offer this disclaimer… just in case there were any issues with our picture quality… I know little to nothing about photography, I don’t have a Canon or a Nikon or any other fancy camera… all I have is my trusty dusty iPhone 4 and the Instagram application that I often use for their pretty filters! While I know blogging has been a huge platform for showcasing stunning photography, we may fall a bit short. But I do hope you enjoy our humble efforts! Candids from the heart!! Here are a few of the favorites on my Camera Roll right now, Enjoy 🙂

Courtney

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