My Hair Goo Twists!

Today I decided to wash and deep condition my hair. Since I haven’t done this for awhile, I decided to mix up some hair goo as a deep conditioner, that I will actually leave in my hair until tomorrow… or maybe the next day if I get lazy. Now, I’m not sure if this is okay to do. I should probably look up if it is okay to leave conditioning products in your hair that don’t specifically say “leave-in conditioner,” but you know what, I’ve been doing this all my life. Not with this specific hair goo mixture, but I’ve always left conditioners in my hair for a day or two, if my hair has been feeling crunchy or damaged or what not. Does it leave a residue? Uh, yeah.. because there is a thick conditioner on it. This isn’t something you should do if you are trying to rock out with a shiny, lusterous style. But if you are just running errands or in the house or something basic, I don’t see why this would be a problem. BUT, I promise to do some research on this, and then do a follow up post.

Anywho, pictures of the process follow. Just a reminder, these are iPhone pics. Don’t judge me.

This is my hair, fresh out of the shower and towel-dried. No products and extremely tangled.

This is what I use for my hair goo. I use one part Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque, one part Olive Oil Replenishing Pak, and two parts Organic Virgin Coconut Oil. You can mix this ahead of time and store in a container at room temperature, or just mix at the time of use and put directly in your head. I actually just put each in, one at a time, just remembering the ratio.

This is my hair after I’ve massaged the mixture throughout my hair. I’m using a super wide toothed comb. My roots are tragic, I know, but I’m trying to wait to decide on what color I want to go next… very indecisive.

These are the twists. They are just jumbo double strand twists. I usually put about twelve in my head. This is just to make sure my hair is actually well combed through and the hair goo is evenly distributed. Just my personal method.

And this is how they look when they are done. I generally just let these hang out in my head at least until my hair is dry, but sometimes longer if I’m not going anywhere. If I do want to leave the house or I’m having company or something and don’t want to look like I’m on the set of The Color Purple, I just unravel the twists, separate and tease the strands by hand, and it just gives my fro a different texture and flow. Natural hair bloggers refer to this as a “twist-out.”

Here is a final shot of the dried twists. See how you can’t even see the hair goo anymore. I will update this post with a shot of my hair once I unravel the twists later!

🙂

Courtney

My Hair Journey

Let’s talk about hair! My hair has caused major drama in my life for years and years and years. I’ve had braids, twists, perms, crazy dye jobs featuring platinum blonde, pink and orange, weaves and braided extensions, shaved sides, mohawks, shaved designs, fingerwaves, you name it! During my adolescent years, my father often referred to my experiments as “The Hair Wars,” because my parents could not deal lol.

For the past year, give or take a few weeks, things have calmed down tremendously, because I am now natural. After discovering I was pregnant in early January, I had a minor, panic-induced meltdown, and decided to cut my hair… all of it. I went in the bathroom with my orange all-purpose scissors that are generally stored in the kitchen utility drawer (come on, you know the type of scissors I’m talking about!), and I went to town. I cut all but about an inch and a half of my hair. Mind you, I had just gotten a relaxer maybe two weeks prior to this, so what I was pretty much left with was a spiky, dingy, uneven fro (if you could even call it a fro). I LOOKED NUTS. But like I said, my emotions were going haywire and so I didn’t really even care. I was looking for some type of liberation I guess, I’m not sure. For the next couple of months I wore my T.G.I. Fridays red cap (I was a waitress at the time) or a hooded sweatshirt. As the spring came and the months grew warmer, and as my pregnancy progressed, I abandoned the hat because I simply did not care! I was big, uncomfortable and sweating constantly and could care less about what my head looked like! My roommate at the time and one of my best friends, Krissy, told me that I walked around looking like Pat from Saturday Night Live. You know, that person with the crazy poofy hair, that no one could tell if it was a man or a woman???? Yea.

I barely took any pictures of myself during these months because I looked NUTS, but I will share the few that  I have stored on my MacBook PhotoBooth. Please excuse the swollen face and nose and frumpiness. SMH.

Excuse the color filter… but this was a few days after I initially cut my hair with the orange scissors. I was about 2 months pregnant here. My friend Dave forced me to visit his barber so that I could at least have an even cut.

As soon as my hair got long enough to grab, (I think I was 5  months pregnant here) I went to an African braid shop and paid $230 for some Senegelese Twists that only lasted about a month. Because my hair was so short, they fell out quickly. I don’t recommend doing this type of style unless you have at least three inches of hair.

After I took those twists out, I walked around with this for about a month. You can see it grew fairly well… I think the prenatal vitamins had a lot to do with this. I was about 6 months pregnant here.

When I was about 7 months pregnant, dead in the midst of a blazing Chicago summer, swollen as EVER, I decided it was a good idea to try to give myself Janet Jackson Poetic Justice Braids. It took me about 8 hours, 10 packs of Kankelon braiding hair and at least 20 bathroom breaks to get these done. They lasted MAYBE 2 weeks…

This was a few weeks after I gave birth. I colored my hair an auburn reddish color… please ignore the bed head and swollen face.

And, this is my hair currently. Packed into a neat fro. On a daily basis it hardly looks this neat hahahaha. But, overall, I am quite proud of my hair growth. Like I said, I definitely give credit to those wonderful prenatal vitamins. I haven’t straightened my hair since December of 2010. I would imagine if I was to straighten this stuff out now, it would be almost bob length in the back, and something like a bowl in the front, but I’m not sure. I’m happy to be natural, mostly because I’ve been a complete and utter bum for the past year, neglecting all upkeep, and if I had a perm… I’d be bald from the failure of keeping to a hair care regimen. I’m just now starting to get back into taking care of my hair.

Be on the lookout for posts about my hair efforts… I will share what I do and what I discover. I am, in no sense, a natural hair care expert… I doubt if any of what I do is actually considered legit healthy hair care for natural Black hair… but as I find things out and learn, I will share.

Oh, and I also might add, I am NOT one of those natural-haired sistas that are all of a sudden against all things un-natural, including perms, hot-combs, flat-irons and weaves, after they BIG CHOP (Cut out all relaxed hair). I am not a hair revolutionary activist. I think women should do what makes them happy and what fits into their lives. I don’t agree with the slang terms “good hair,” I don’t believe Black women have to have long, processed hair to be considered attractive. BUT, I don’t judge anyone who decides to rock a weave or a perm and I’m positive that I will rock more than a few weaves in the near future! However, being natural is what’s best for me right now.

🙂

Courtney

Baby Mama Frustrations…

For the record, this is a rant. And I am well aware that most of what I’m saying isn’t politically correct… I just don’t care. Truer feelings were never typed.

I hate being a “baby mama.” I hate the stereotypes that are associated with young, single moms… especially minority moms. I hate that the father of my daughter isn’t my husband, or even my boyfriend. I hate that no matter what the underlying situation, from his standpoint, I will always be “tripping” or “whining” or “playing games” or “being needy.” I hate that no matter how dishonest those depictions are, his family, friends, associates, and mutual acquaintances-at-large will believe him… because the media and pop culture have created a Baby Mama Character… full of stereotypes that are connected to true facts. Single mothers have to advocate for their children, so if the father is a ding bat, deadbeat, or young, dumb idiot.. we have to make sure our child has what they need, financially, emotionally and physically. And, often times that means “tripping” or “being needy.” I hate that deadbeat fathers and young-minded, foolish men, can still go to family court and have rights to their children. And I realize this is extremely controversial. But when these men use the court system to exercise and manipulate a control over the mother of their child and the child itself, I believe the system is failing. I hate the fact that any time I stand up for myself and my daughter, I get threatened with legal action. By a person who can barely spell L-E-G-A-L A-C-T-I-O-N. I hate that a man who can fail to provide ANY financial support to a child for months at a time, can take his child’s mother to court and demand visitation. I hate that visitation and child support are considered to be two separate legal issues. The two are joined at the hip if you ask me.  I hate that its so easy for a man to blame his child’s mother’s resistance to him and his b.s., on “wanting” him.. wanting to be with him. Why is it so easy for men to chop up their problems with their child’s mother as being the mother’s rejection issues. And why is it so easy for everyone to believe them? And why is that a suitable justification to the men then getting their way? Even if the child’s mother walked out of the relationship. Even if the mother has ignored all calls, refused all contact, other than pre-scheduled visits between him and the child? AND ESPECIALLY even if the father is offering ZERO financial support.   “She trying to keep my baby from me cuz I don’t wanna be with her! This is a 50/50 thing. I get a say-so in any decisions that have to do with my baby.”

WHAT…..?

I hate that, no matter how hard I try to refine our communication… narrow it down to hardly any verbal communication… there is always space for him to pick a fight or make a demand. I hate that I am going to have to deal with his family for the next 18 years. I hate that he is entitled to even the most miniscule amount of communication regarding major life decisions involving my daughter. I hate that I have to defend my parenting decisions to him and his family.

Days like today, I feel defeated. I feel helpless. I feel angry.

My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. She has changed me in ways I never knew possible. I love her more than I have ever loved. To the point that it scares me. Emotions that I’ve never felt before, whirl about my spirit, day in and day out. I’m obsessed with her, fully absorbed with her. Completely and utterly preoccupied by her. Paranoid and over-concerned about everything that has to do with her. Anxious about her upcoming weeks, months, years and decades. Dreaming about all of her milestones. Curious about every inch of her body and every aspect of her laugh, whine and cry. I have a hard time understanding how one can be a parent if they aren’t feeling these same emotions? How can you justify that one SHOULD be a parent, if they aren’t feeling these same emotions… So, to have to deal with a person… the FATHER of my child, yet a person who can’t even dedicate $20 and 3 hours of his time to my daughter, yet wants to make demands and threats, to exhibit control and put on shows for his friends and family …. to have to deal with that… well, I hate it.

My biggest fear is that my daughter will grow older and blame me for the lack of a relationship between her and her father. I’m scared that somehow, all these decisions that I’ve agonized over, will somehow get made out to be only “rejection issues,” to her … and she will think of me as being selfish and bitter. I’m scared that what seems so right to me now… will end up being the wrong decisions in the long run…

Being a single mom is the most heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever encountered.

Stretch Marks…

Courtney